Friday, July 5, 2013

An end and a new beginning.

Last few weeks have flashed past so fast that I hardly remember any of the events in detail. A journey that began of September, 14th, 2009 ended. Everything that I put together in the period of four years in engineering fell apart in a flash. There was no time for emotions. The world was now glaring at me, it isn't too kind to a graduate. I was well prepared for this moment. I've been hunting down every opportunity that I could lay my hands on, preparing for this moment of realization.

I had secured a job at Tata Consultancy Services Limited through the campus recruitment process. So I wasn't gonna be jobless. But fours years in a private engineering colleges had already taught me one thing: never settle down for what you have. Once you're satisfied with your life; it is finished. This hunger wasn't there when I had finished schooling. At the point of time, I was content. But this time I was ready, I already has decided that before even appearing in the interview, that if I get selected in TCS, I wont join. The offer letter was supposed to be a trophy of my first kill.

I had planned it all through, if I didn't get an awesome job, I'd go for higher education. Get a tag from an Institute of National Importance and bask in the glory of being a part of it for the next two years. Life was kind to me, I fared well in the entire MBA admissions procedure, the CAT, the group discussions and the interviews. I hadn't left Lucknow for most part of the 20 years my existence. If I did, I was only to Allahabad.The whole process of B-School hunting took me to new places, alone. My parents supported me, bearing all the expenses of these trips to Delhi, the tickets, the hotel stays. This exercise gave me a lot of self-confidence. I always was poor in facing interviews in my college life, but those 30 minute sessions with the some of the best professors in country helped me get over this shortcoming.

With God's grace, I secured admissions for MBA in two IITs, I finalized the admission in DoMS Indian Institute of Technology, Madras. Though it cannot be said, that it is the best B-School in country, but it is one of the top destinations for MBA aspirants. It has its own set of unique features which one will not find anywhere else in the country. Relative very low fees being one of them. I was happy. Everyone who cares about me, was happy too. An IITian tag would be a blessing for my career. Life was looking good.

Then came this same feeling, which visited me in October, during TCS. Am I settling down with something that isn't the best? I started apply for jobs for the heck of it. My peers find it difficult to travel unreserved in railways and appear in interviews in far off cities in a day's notice. I don't. Those MBA trips, helped me toughen up. So as soon as the final exams ended. I started chasing the recruitment drives of Big names. Got rejected. But it didn't affect me, as I already had a Plan B (MBA) which was as good as Plan A (job).

People thought I was crazy now, wasting parent's money. I was one of them. Felt guilty when I left for Gurgaon, for an interview which I decided would be my last for now. I'd come back and then leave for Chennai to join IITM.

But fate had something else in store, I cleared the process, got selected in Alcatel-Lucent, the company which is has seven Nobel Prizes to boast about. The company that owns Bell Labs, place where C, C++ were invented.

Meanwhile my final year results were declared and I graduated officially, I scored more that I had in the past 4 years.

Anyone would have thought that one would be happy with so much in hand. But everyday when I wake up I'm in strange mental agony. A pain, what to leave and what to take. The strange scenarios of 'What If?' have been swimming in my conscience and I'm in a fix. It is a strange dilemma. What to join, where to go. Do I love technical stuff enough to make a career there. Should I try again for a better B-School. Should I continue with education and become a manager so early in my life.

I'm leaving home tomorrow. For the first time I believe, I don't have a plan. I always thought I was very resourceful, but I guess now the sweet excess of resources, will make sure that I am tormented for the near future with just one simple thought, what would have happened if I had chosen the other way.

Whatever happens now, it is a new beginning in life. Hope I make the most of it.

(After reading this blog post, I feel it seems too much of self flattery. But as Google Analytics has informed me, no one visits this website. So it is more of a personal diary, and I have every right to brag here)


  1. ur google analytics report might b right, as dere is so much on net to peep which keeps ppl engaged, and nobody visits such new blogs....even i was luking for sum1else with ur name n visited thinking dis site as his..but then glued to dis post,,dis is ur experience n i love d way u played with audacity..the gr8 vivekanand said v shud keep on taking risks as dey show us many new doors to the life,,n definitely admire ur persistency and focus....keep writing may god a day come when many would read and follow u....:P

  2. hey thanks for reading, now I can count atleast one real reader. :D I guess this post paints a bit too saintly picture of me :P

    1. :P r,nt all of us really saintly .....i mean if v all consider ourselves special creation of god then v all r flawless......even if v c sum drawbacks in life..beneath those flaws definetly dere is sumthing which is perfect....

    2. Well, if you believe in the theory that God has created us all, then it really takes away the spice from life. Because then we all are perfect. We're just being what we were supposed to be.